After the brotherly love date, I learned a few lessons.
I realized I needed to be more discerning with the men I started talking to. Chances are if I wasn’t super attracted to the pictures they chose to represent themselves on a dating website, I wasn’t going to be attracted to them in person. Because, let’s be honest, we all put the best of the best up. That’s not to say there can’t be chemistry there with someone I’m not immediately physically attracted to. But it helps.
So I started getting some guts. I started initiating contact with guys on the site who might be considered a little “out of my league.” Some replied. Most didn’t. Which is fine. But ya gotta aim high, right?
I had also decided that I needed to meet these men in person sooner rather than later. The longer you talk, the more invested you get and the higher your hopes get. It’s natural. So I vowed that the next time, I would not get too invested.
Anyway, on to Bachelor #2.
This guy showed up as someone who rated me very high, although he didn’t send me a message, so I checked out his profile. All visitors are visible unless you browse anonymously, so he could see that I went to his profile and vice versa. I saw that he looked at my profile again. Still no message. So I bit the bullet and sent him one.
We started talking. We set up a dinner meeting for a Sunday. That morning, it was awfully rainy and not supposed to stop until late at night. The thought of changing out of sweatpants and venturing into the monsoon made me want to cry. I flaked out and canceled on him. Totally That Girl, I know. But that’s my prerogative, right? We rescheduled for that Tuesday.
The day of the date, I wasn’t nervous at all, so that was progress. But I wasn’t excited either. I kept telling friends, “I have no expectations,” and I really didn’t. I was going to meet him and whatever happened, would happen. I hadn’t gotten invested yet. We hadn’t taken the communication offline, so we hadn’t been talking as much, which helped.
We met for dinner and I was pleasantly surprised. He was attractive. Conversation was comfortable. I developed the faintest flutter of a butterfly. By the end of the meal, we had mentioned the possibility of hanging out again several times. He lost a couple points by not walking me to my car even though it was after dark and by just going for a handshake rather than a hug. (I’m a big hugger.) But it had still been a nice time and I was going home happy.
I got home, settled in to watch New Girl and group iMessaged my best friends about the date. (That’s what everyone does, right?) Right as New Girl ended, my phone dinged with a text from him. When I opened it, I didn’t even know what to do. (NO, this isn’t going THERE. Thank goodness.) It said something along the lines of:
“Just got back from a date. I actually think there are some possibilities there, but I’m not getting my hopes up like last time.”
Um. Clearly not meant for me. I didn’t know what to do, so I did what any girl does – text your best friends for advice. I asked three of them what I should do and I had settled on not responding. He would already be embarrassed enough, I didn’t want to make it worse for him. An hour later, I got another text from him:
“Um wow. That was not supposed to go to you. That’s my epic fail of the day. I had a nice time. Good night.”
I found it adorably vulnerable, given that he had told me about his last experience with a girl he was really into who dropped off the face of the earth. I sent him a text reassuring him it was fine, and saying that, yeah, I thought there could be a possibility there as well.
It was brought up by others that this could have been an act, that he sent it “accidentally” but really on purpose. I don’t think that was the case, but if so… well-played, sir.
Long story short, we set up another date within the week…
And yes, I’m going to leave you in suspense there, because this is already over 700 words long…