I just spent a good hour reading my blog posts from the end of December 2010 into January 2011. It is remarkable how much has changed in a year’s time.
I made the clichéd statement in January last year that “this year is MY YEAR.” People say it every year, it’s probably on about 10 Facebook statuses on your News Feed right now. I’d said it in the past.
But in 2011, I really followed through on that.
One year ago, I was struggling to crawl out of depression. I was making very difficult decisions, but decisions I knew I needed to make.
Ultimately for me, 2011 was about learning to let go.
When I think back on it, that’s what everything I went through last year was. Letting go.
Professionally, I quit my job at the end of February, having no backup plan and a scary year ahead of me. I just knew I couldn’t continue to let that job degrade me anymore. I second-guessed myself when times were tough, but I never truly regretted the decision I made.
Personally, I learned to let go of toxic friendships and relationships. The ones that I poured my heart and soul into and consistently got nothing but disappointment in return. I learned to be OK with being “alone,” but also learned that I wasn’t even actually alone, because there were amazing people in my life who would be there for me regardless.
But most importantly, I let go of fear. I let go of self-doubt. I let go of insecurities.
Without making these conscious choices to let go of things that weren’t right in my life, I would not be starting 2012 in such a good place. For the first time in my [albeit relatively short] life, I can say I am truly and completely happy in my job. I am doing what I love doing, in the industry I have always seen myself in, with fantastic coworkers and a lot of opportunities for growth. I come home feeling energized and excited, rather than defeated and tired. I now am free to put my time and energy and love into the people who deserve it, rather than wasting it on those who don’t appreciate it.
Throughout the course of 2011, I learned to fight for what I want. I learned that I am strong. I learned to stand up for myself. To have confidence in myself.
I fought through a lot in 2011, and in the end, I came out on top. And I am going to continue fighting in 2012, continue growing and learning. And if I have to, continue letting go of the things that don’t fit anymore. I am looking forward to what this year has in store, and I hope all of you are too. Happy New Year to all!