Writer’s Block

I have been suffering from a mad case of writer’s block since Sunday, at least in relation to my blog. I’ve been fine with my freelancing stuff, which is good since that’s where I need to be productive. But I’ve been missing my blog this week.

Creativity

I’ve started writing a post at least three times, but I can’t seem to finish it or even be happy with what I’ve written already.

Part of it may be that my blog was a common topic of conversation this past weekend. My friend Dustin called me on Friday night to confirm the plans for my birthday party on Saturday. After the usual “Hi, how are you, what’s going on?” conversation, he said:

OK, before I say anything else, I just have to tell you…
[insert ominous music in my head]
I’ve been reading your blog.”

At which point, I’m pretty sure my heart stopped. There’s always this weird sense of dread when you find out someone new has been reading your blog. I braced myself for what he would say, not sure what to expect.

“Freaking awesome, Lindsay.”

He went on for another few minutes about how he enjoyed reading so many of my posts, how he had no idea I was a writer, how I was able to take him right back to Australia with my posts about our time there, that I was really talented, etc., etc.

I felt tears fill my eyes as he told me all of this, not really knowing what to say other than a strained “thank you” through the tears and the ridiculous smile that I couldn’t wipe off my face for an hour or more.

While I get comments on here (and on Facebook) from people regularly, it’s always the same people. And I love those comments. I really do. I love reading your insights, taking your thoughts into consideration, getting advice from you.

But knowing that I had a “lurker” out there in the form of a very close friend really meant a lot to me. He’s always been someone whose opinion I’ve trusted and valued in the three years I’ve known him, so to hear him say that made me immensely happy. And especially if you know Dustin, he is the definition of blunt. If he doesn’t like something, you better believe he’ll let you know.

So, Dustin, if you’re reading this one…thank you.
You’ll never truly know what your words meant to me.

If you tell me you love my blog, you get a hug. But I'll still probably call you a "night terror." 🙂

The blog came up a few more times over the weekend…hanging out at my apartment Saturday afternoon, at the bar Saturday night, at breakfast Sunday morning.

And I think that is a big part of why I haven’t been able to write since my post on Saturday morning.

It’s like suddenly I realized…people are reading this thing. I’m feeling the pressure to keep up the quality of the posts. Which should be a good thing. I should be writing high quality stuff if I’m putting it out there for everyone to read. But suddenly…I’m intimidated as hell.

What if they don’t like this post? What if I’m not witty enough? What if I’m not being deep enough in this one? Is someone going to stop reading after they read this?

I’ve always looked for validation from others. And getting it this weekend, from an unexpected source, was amazing. But…where do I go now?

There are a few ideas floating around up there, half a dozen drafts saved, and a whole lot of emotion bursting inside this full heart waiting to get out. It’ll happen. I’ll get there. Just bear with me through the writer’s block and I’ll try not to disappoint.

And hey…thanks for reading. Really.

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4 thoughts on “Writer’s Block

  1. I always look forward to reading your blog and I’m so glad that it’s being recognized by friends. 🙂

    I felt the same way when I realized people I knew (other than my mom) were reading my blog. When I first started blogging, I had the link on Facebook for two days because I didn’t plan on writing anything too personal… The theme of my writing changed and now I sometimes have this “eeeek!!” feeling if someone from my “real life” can read my about what’s on my heart. It’s kind of liberating though– to put yourself out there for everyone to see.

    Keep blogging and writing and being fabulous. ❤

  2. Each of your posts has made me either laugh, cry, think, analyze, or question – or even do all – and I have no doubt in my mind that it’s had the same the effect on others reading! I hope we (as your readers) don’t put too much pressure on you now that you know so many of us are out there in cyberspace…ew just reminded me if oldschool AOL chat session a/s/l wanna cyber? hahah, I digress. Anyway, some pressure is always good right? Like the thrill of a deadline – now it’s a thrill to impress. I have a feeling you won’t let anyone down 🙂 and I already know you have one more topic to write about for sure – your fab bday and surprise cake! Maybe you can even write about HIMYM lol. Ps – you are witty without even trying and that is just one of the reasons you are so funny! And I can’t even attribute the snark handbook to that because you’ve always been that way 🙂

  3. Pingback: A Birthday Present to Myself | What's shakin' in the real world

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