While we were in Jamaica, Kim and I certainly made some interesting acquaintances. Our whole family probably did, but I think we had the best stories out of everyone. I will share some of them with you now…I only wish that I had photographic evidence for them all.
- The Dancing Parrot – on our first night, during the third quarter of the Superbowl, Kim and I decided to go explore the grounds of the resort and see what our “late night” options were. In the main lobby, we discovered a reggae band. They were pretty decent. We were intrigued. And then, we spied it. A very large, dancing parrot. Cue our quick exit from the lobby, trying desperately to avoid the gaze of the Parrot, who was targeting dance partners.
- “Does your lion have a foot?” Watersports Man – On Monday, Kim and I
decided to venture out into the Caribbean Sea on a paddle boat. After a grueling
10 minutesepic journey, we made our way back into shore. As the watersports guy came to help us with the boat (after watching us struggle for three or four minutes), he noticed Kim’s tattoo of a lion right at her bikini line. He then said, “Does your lion have a foot?” Her response was, “Yes, but it’s just hidden by my suit bottom.” His classy reply? “Well can I see it?” We speedily made our way back to the pool bar.
- Herman the Lizard – One night when we got back to our room at
10 p.m.after partying it up all night long, Kim was going over to pull the curtains closed and she suddenly gasps and screams, “THERE IS A LIZARD IN OUR ROOM!” I didn’t freak out at first. But then I walked over to check it out and instantly got skeeved out and promptly jumped back onto my bed and informed Kim that she would have to take care of the situation. She opened the door, used a magazine to attempt to shoo it out, and squealed as it began climbing up our wall. She fought with it for a good six or seven minutes, having the occasional freak out, climbing on her bed and not knowing what to do, thinking she lost it, then seeing it scurry one way or the other. And then, our beloved Herman shed his tail. “Its tail is twitching all over the goddam place!!!” she screamed. Finally, Herman went out onto the balcony, leaving his tail behind. Thankfully, the maids took care of his tail the next morning.
- The Silver Serpent & Sir Snooze-a-lot – On Tuesday night, Kim, Kristin, Lenny and I went to “the disco” while Mom and Dad watched Cody.
We enjoyed some great entertainment. There was the Silver Serpent, who was wearing QUITE the dress and kept um…adjusting…[him or her]self. And there was Sir Snooze-a-lot, who was all alone at the bar, passed out, mouth open, snoring. People all over the bar were taking pictures with him while he was passed out, and Lenny definitely had his fun with it as well.
- Haco – On our walk back to our room that night, Kim and I encountered Haco (I’m not sure if that’s how you spell it), a Puerto Rican sailor who just came to Jamaica on a whim with some of his buddies. Turns out he had been one of the guys who, earlier in the night, had used a great pick-up line on us. “Hey ladies, how are you doing?” “Good, how are you guys?” “Well certainly not as good as you two…” We talked to him for a while. He and his surfer boy buddy tried to convince us to leave the resort to go to the yacht club and/or the dance club with them for drinks and some Jamaican ganja. At which point Natalie Holloway popped into my head and I said, “How about you guys just go back to the disco and we’ll meet you down there for another drink in about 10 minutes?” Haco’s friend said, “Dude, they’re not coming. I’m going to bed. See ya in the morning.” Smart man, Haco’s friend was. Smart, smart man.
Ohhh Jamaica, how I enjoyed your lessons in people, culture, booze, sun, sand and surf. Such good stories to tell.